Saturday, July 30, 2005


“Going Nowhere” by Oasis in the process of breaking my heart. The Gallaghers and I are probably the only ones who still agree they are bigger than the Beatles.

My sister asked me, "Do people stare at you?”
I said, “Yes, why?”
“No reason.”

In my twenties my mother said, “They stare because you look like someone who went to Bryn Mawr.”

Went to the WOW Deli for a sandwich because it is the 900th rainy Friday in a row, the deadline for this “deliverable” is August 1st, and it seemed like, really, only a grilled ham ‘n cheese would do. No turkey breast Swiss cheese minimalist spinach “wrap” with sprouts instead of lettuce. No, lay it on us. The full grease monty. Crossed major deli threshold: the Korean sandwich order taker knew my name without asking.

Watched Million Dollar Baby last night. MZA turned to me and said, “Who said this was good?” Only all of America and the Academy of Motion Picture Sciences and Beverages. Clint Eastwood doing a bad channel of Burgess Meredith. Hillary Swank with the “plucky,” ingratiating “boss” business. I found myself longing for the KO that would twist the plot. ANYTHING to veer it off its hackneyed course. Euthenasia indeed. MZA turned to me and said, “Life’s too short.” And went to bed. I lay on the fully loaded couchapalooza and fell asleep. It was that good.

Now it’s now. Listening to “Golden-Vein” by the Cocteau Twins. Aural heroin. Slipping away. Must return to feverishly concentrating on hamster cage of paper. Turn up computer speakers, fend it off a little longer. Elizabeth Frazer’s Scottish trill carrying me above the mundane for a bit.


Cynicism is another word for reality

Email me, you derelict wastrel

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